Fire emblem: Sitcom maddness
by zeffa
Summary: Seven FF7 characters share a house and many crazy events ensure. Please R & R please!


**Fire Emblem Sitcom Madness**

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Fire Emblem

Authors Note: First, I would like to apologies to everyone on the grounds that I have never really managed to complete a single fan fiction (others I have deleted due to lack of writing ability). One of the reasons for not being able to write is because of my year twelve work and exams that had to be dealt with. Since I have finished all my exams, I am going to do my best to write up a Fire Emblem fan fiction. Keep in mind that this story is set in an AU universe and this story may not be original.

I know that I am not a very good writer before, but I wish to try again to ensure I would improve no matter what. On with the story!

Chapter one: Prologue

An ordinary street in the city of Ostia. Seven people, all known for their heroic exploits at the dragon gate, are walking towards their new house. Reality TV bosses along with the lords of Ostia and Pherae have come up with the idea of getting a bunch of warriors to share a house, and deal with whatever weird goings on might occur. The prospective housemates are introduced to us:

Sain: the flirtatious knight

Lucius: the kind, yet somewhat fashion loving monk

Karel: The insane, crazy sword master guy

Nino: The perky, bubbly kid

Mathew: the clever yet shifty thief

Rebecca: the relatively normal girl

Serra: loud and annoying girl

They walk down the street, each of them carrying there respective luggage except for Karel. Karel, being a sword master who would enjoy nothing less than a blood slaughter has only a long katana along with a couple of sword polishes. Sain, also being a flirtatious knight has offered to carry Rebecca's luggage which in truth is very heavy. While Sain struggles with his load (just to impress a girl), the group has reached the house that they were supposed to stay in. The house, three floors high, is falling apart, there are cracked windows, and the garden is in an even worse state, with a rusting shopping trolley thrown inside overgrown grass. Shock at the state that the house is in; Sain hastily makes an outraged statement.

"Wasn't this house meant to have luxury accommodation like it said on the brochure?"

"Let's not get sad guys. It might be better inside" Nino chirped, determined not to be put off by the obviously terrible onset. Everyone simply shook their heads in frustration.

"It probably will be shit" Karel growled under his breath, while unlocking the door.

Once inside, the group splits up to look around. Nino, Serra and Rebecca went for the bathroom in order to get changed. When they got there, they were all in for a shock, so great that not even Nino can hope for much anymore.

"Kyaaaa, this place is so terrible" Serra screeched at the obviously semi destroyed bathroom; with a barely working water system with rust covered everywhere. The state of the toilet is even worse, so bad that not even Nino could bear to stare at it even longer that a second. "Where's Erky when you need him, his tidiness could fix this up in no time"

"I guess we have to clean this place up, right Rebecca?" Nino asked quietly while ignoring Serra's rantings on the current situation.

"I guess so" Rebecca sighed while picking up a near by bucket while helping the others to do the same. _'Was it really meant to be like this or am I simply dreaming'_

Elsewhere in the living room, Karel is busy polishing his Wo Dao despite his utter disgust showing clearly on his face.

"Do they really expect up. None of this was on the brochure" Sain muttered as he took a good long look at the surroundings. "I expected some sort luxury accommodations with the bunny girls on the photos, not like this"

"I guess I could understand this" Lucius replied with a straight face. "I was in a similar state once"

"I doubt my prowess in battle has never came close to preparing us for this"

"I was never expecting this crap, not even Hector knew about this shit" Mathew groaned while walking into the kitchen. Not coming out, Sain and Lucius decide to go check on him. Upon entering the kitchen, Sain and Lucius quietly groaned at the state of the kitchen with rust and mold everywhere. Mathew on the other hand is smiling at what the chemicals he has found in the kitchen cupboard which too is filled with rust.

"He, he, he, I have finally found the chemicals that is needed for me to make the drugs I want. Heck I can even sell the blasted things for cash"

Before Lucius could reprimand Mathew for his sinister plan, a person could be heard walking into the building. It was Eliwood and the tactician Mark and both are heading down to the living room.

"Hi guys, I see you found the house all right. Do you like your new accommodation?" Eliwood ask in a happy tone. Everyone began staring at Eliwood as though he was absolutely crazy. They knew that Eliwood is not the smartest man in the world (evident at the fact that they needed a tactician to lead his army, even though he is supposed to be well schooled), but nothing could have predicted something like this occurring.

"So lord Eliwood, where is the luxury that was promised in the brochure" Mathew asked angrily as he puts down his chemicals. Just then, Karel stood up with an evil expression on his face.

"I believe that the thief is right. My sword deserves the luxury of slicing you to pieces for the worthless excuse of a house"

Choosing to ignore the angry threat of Karel, Eliwood continued his lengthily speech, causing everyone to sweat-drop as Karel growled maliciously while sitting back down to polish his sword further.

"Those were old brochures we gave you, Mathew and I do apologies for the state the house is in but it is the only house that Hector is willing to lend us. Now, you all see that meter in the hall? You have to put a quarter in their any time you want electricity per hour, the rent is 50 each gold a week and if it's not paid straight away, I will send Lyn to settle the matter"

All everyone could do at the moment is sweat profusely, since they all knew Lyn to be an extremely violent person when things don't go her way. Sain is a brilliant example of this because his extensive flirting with Florina in the past has earned him numerous beatings at the hands of Lyn, all of which nearly crippled him. Heck, even Mathew was only beaten to an inch of his life when he accidentally took a look at her bathing once.

"50 each week for this fluxing dump! What the hell is going on" Sain shouted in fury while Mathew, Karel and even Lucius seemed to all agree with him.

"Not only that, but Sain is forbidden to flirt with any of the girls here while the show going on" Mark states with pulling out a weird device. Before Sain could even begin to comprehend the terrifying situation, Mark had already zap Sain with the device and just as he began to slump to the ground unconscious, Mark had already put a weird device onto his leg. After taping it up with tape onto his left thigh, Mark then turn to address the shocked group.

"In order to prevent Sain from continuing his flirting, it is imprudent that a preventative is put into place on the request of lady Lyndis. If he is to flirt with anyone, then the device will go off, shocking him badly. IF he is to try and take them off, then I would have to state that it would hurt extremely bad for he would also feeling the pain equivalent of tearing his skin off. That is all that I am here for, thanks and good luck to all"

With that, Mark left the group, succeeding in his giving duty. Before Eliwood followed suit, he gave one final statement while the three guys where recovering from there shock.

"Every week, there will be a pay day of 100 gold and also on a final note, Nino doesn't need to pay any gold due to her young age, see all later"

Once Eliwood is out of sight, the group began to mutter angrily to themselves.

"Damn it, only a hundred gold" Mathew stated while shaking his hands in fury. "If it wasn't for the prize at the end of this show, I would have left right now"

"I need this prize money to help the children back in my orphanage" Lucius stated in determined voice. "I sure hope that Raven is doing okay in his duties and I also wonder what kind of clothes that now sell in Ostia now a days"

"If it wasn't for the fact that all the arenas are closed for cleaning and that fact that I need the blasted money for new swords, I have no choice but to stay in a shit hole with people I really hate…."

"SHUT THE FLUX UP" Said Mathew and Sain who has just woken up at that moment. Just then, Nino, Rebecca and Serra have returned form there cleaning duties. All of them looked dirty and before any of the guys could say anything, Rebecca asked quickly.

"So, what happened just then?"

"A lot of things, I'll explain" Lucius answered looking grim.

A few hours later sees the seven housemates sitting around seeing a pack of cheep instant noodles each, cooked by Nino's fire tome, that was stolen from Erk which was into turn taken from Pent, etc,etc,etc.

"So that's what happened" Rebecca answered grimly

"Yes, due to the unfortunate situation, I guess we have to do the best we can to survive" Lucius smiled sadly while eating his noodles

"We usually eat better stuff than this right Rebecca" Mathew asked Rebecca unhappily.

"We will go to the market tomorrow to settle this problem, I promise that to you all"

"Well, I guess I will just have to concentrate in developing these chemicals" Mathew states will dump the rest of his noodles into the bin while grabbing his chemicals.

"Is he doing something bad now" Nino chirped while slurping her noodles. Not missing out a chance to flirt (since Jaffar is not there), Sain decides to know his noodles into the bin and try to get know Nino better in this situation while answering her question (predictably with a lot of flattery). However, before he could state even a syllable, he is engulfing in a shower of shocks, before being knocked out. All the girls were stunned at this. Just then, Mathew came back incidentally to pick out another chemical he has forgotten to pick up. Seeing Sain's body and the shocked faces on the girls, Mathew decides to quickly explain the situation. After that Mathew left, the girls all sighed from relief.

"I guess we don't have to worry about him too much, right Serra" Rebecca grinned while Nino looked confused

"Wish Erky is here, I really could use him right here and now" Serra groaned while causing everyone to sweat drop.

"Seriously, I am stuck with everyone I really hate" Karel muttered as he went back to his polish.

"Let's go make grass beads, Rebecca" Nino proclaimed

"Sure thing"

"Hey Serra, may I please take a look at the catalogue you got the other day related to hair products" Lucius asked while

"I guess so" Serra answered before going to her room with Lucius following her. After everyone has gone, Sain has finally regain consciousness. Not knowing of the situation, Sain could only conclude one thing.

"This seriously sucks"

Can our group possibly survive that situation their in? Tune in next episode when the gang try and work out whether Jeigan exists or not. Please read and review, though this is my first fanfic in a while.


End file.
